Still something special?

On Saturday I accompanied my first same-sex wedding. It was – like all the celebrations I have been able to experience as a wedding photographer – a beautiful, emotional event. However, one thing has been bothering me since that day, because I didn't expect it.

When I was asked by this couple last year if I would photograph a same-sex wedding, I didn't have to think at all to say yes. My job as a wedding photographer is to... Love between two people to each other, to capture a special and important day for them in individual pictures. Those who say "YES" to each other have good reasons for doing so. It doesn't matter whether it's at the registry office, in church or at a free ceremony. And doesn't it also matter who loves whom?

On Saturday there was a beautiful and detailed couple photo shoot with my wedding couple in different and very beautiful places in Hamburg. Up to now I have always experienced the following two possible reactions from passers-by in similar situations. First option: “Are these advertising shots?” Then I am probably to blame with my cameras and lighting equipment. If my couple or I say no, that automatically leads to option two, namely the statement: “Congratulations!” A lot of people passing by People wish the bride and groom happiness. Not all, but very many.

Things were different with my same-sex couple. And that's what's been bothering me ever since. The only reaction from passers-by who happened to be passing by was during the group photo on the harbor steps: “Where is the bride?” And that wasn't meant to be funny. The question had a confused tone to it. But otherwise? Apart from a few furtive and quite meaningful glances, nothing happened. No questions, no comments, no congratulations. Is it still special when a woman marries a woman or a man marries a man? In Hamburg? I would have expected people in a big city to be relaxed, more confident, less afraid of contact.

It's beautiful when two people connect with each other. The only thing that should be important and really count is... of Love be!

  1. Well, unfortunately this is still (not) an issue.
    In a (supposedly) progressive city like Hamburg, or even in a small, progressive and oh-so-tolerant country in the West, it still doesn’t seem to be seen as “normal”.

    Will we still see this or will it take a few more generations?

  2. It's a shame that even in a seemingly cosmopolitan and mixed city like Hamburg, many people still don't understand it...

    Congratulations from me too to both of them!

  3. Congratulations to both of them and I really hope you show us pictures from the wedding.

    I think it's a shame that such distinctions are still made.

  4. I think many people simply don't understand that. They are then so confused that they completely forget that you could also congratulate them.
    I've been invited to same-sex weddings, but I haven't met one yet by chance. It could be that I would be just as confused and just think one of the many photo colleagues was just doing a photo session...

  5. Stefan, you shouldn't forget that Hamburg also has a very high density of tourists - especially in places worth seeing. And there are still regions in Germany where same-sex weddings are not (can't be) celebrated so often and openly. That could also be a reason for (unfortunately) such reactions...

  6. and what happens to me while I'm photographing a Scottish wedding... a man comes out of the registry office in a suit, followed by another in a kilt. what a coincidence, because my groom was also wearing a kilt (rare enough) and I first shout: "congratulations" - but it turns out that the man in the kilt was the best man and the bride was still in the registry office... that's how it works!! 🙂 and I'm looking forward to having a stand at the gay wedding fair in two weeks.

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